Hi! My name is Mallory House! I am 26 years old, a 1st year wife to Mr. house, a dog Mom to three, and a Natural State born and raised girl trying to carve out my place in this chaotic world by writing my story! I enjoy being in nature, hanging out with my friends and family, reading, exercising, and traveling.
In my Oasis you’ll find my story of pursuing growth through my adventures, my practices, affirmations, meditations, and so much more. Thanks for stopping by!
This is my ritual bath I’ll take on certain occasions. This helps me recharge and reconnect with myself and my faith.
Water is our connecting form. It has always been seen as a way to cleanse oneself. From ritual cleansings, to baptisms, to just washing it away in the shower at the end of the day, water is our comfort. It is the universal breath we all need.
Doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, what you believe, or how you go about your life we all have this common “grounding” point. This connection that brings us, as living beings, together. Water.
Next time you feel lost, alone, nervous, tired, run down, overloaded, or just need an escape for a minute, I encourage you to take a bath. A real bath too. Draw the water at just the perfect temperature, set you out some candles or Incenses. Put your music on blast. Grab your favorite bath robe to get in after, and disappear for awhile!
P.S. This is the same even without a bath tub! Just take that time away and submiss yourself in water!
Baths can be the best way to escape without escaping. Bath’s are meant to clean you, but not just your physical body, your soul as well. So let it. Let each bath be a way to reset yourself. A way to help shake off the bad and put your mind back in a calming state to help you conquer your days, your weeks, even your months, or heck just life in general!
Talking to my family, and friends it feels like we all have so much going on. So much already scheduled out in our days, heck weeks really, that we go, go, go till we eventually burn ourselves out.
We get to a point where everything is just to much; we either lash out at others, shut down and block everyone out, or break down and feel completely worthless.
Sensory overload maybe?
A way of dealing with internal emotional baggage?
Maybe a complex of how you were raised?
Well I am here to tell you, this is noy okay Sis! These feelings, these burnouts. This sense that you have to continue on this neverending cycle of go, go, go, burn out, hurt someone or worse yourself, then do it all again.
That is not okay!
You need to refuel yourself. You need to stop and take in what is around you. Stop and breath new life into yourself. Make sure your internal flame is burning bright!
If your enternal flame gets deprived of oxygen to where its nothing but a burning ember trying to hold onto the heat, who does that help? How does you being run ragged helping anyone? How is you going till your completely burned out bringing any happiness or joy to you or those around you? Your flame deserves to always burn bright! To always bring light, warmth, and comfort to your life.
Every living person has that flame! Its our enternal being, our soul, our deeper consciousness. Some flames burn so bright you feel their radiation, you feel their warmth and are drawn to them. There are some that you connect too, you both fuel each other and y’all continue to help grow both your flames. Some flames help to fuel yours, they are the givers, they are always the ones that make you feel good after being with them. You may know a flame that just inflames yours, you can’t be around theirs or it doesn’t end good? Others you may feel off about. Some, theirs are barley holding on, their flames have been stolen of oxygen and are fighting to stay alive.
My point is, we all have one. We all work hard every day to keeps ours going, fueling it with whatever happiness and joy we can. Pushing ourselves to find more so we can continue to burn.
That inside burn you get deep in your stomach when you’re truly happy. When you come up with a new idea for a project or business. When you make a bomb dish for the holidays and everyone loves it! When you score the winning shot at the buzzer! When you propose to the love of your life, and they say yes!
This is what you should work for everyday. This is what you need to take a moment everyday and think about, focus on, and push to refuel, everyday! Without your flame burning, fueling you, how can you invite happiness, how can accept happiness?
How can you give happiness?
You need your to refuel yourself!
We sometimes forget, we are not built to constantly go. We are not meant to have every part of our days mapped out for us, and sometimes we need to just recharge. We need to refuel out flames.
You need to take a breath. Flames can’t grow without oxygen and if you push yourself to go, go, go then your going to start to loose your breath and essentially you’re stealing your own oxygen. Your own push to go constantly, and be and live, thats you putting yourself out.
I guess our society has painted us all a picture of how we should go about about our days, and then we get upset when we fall short of those expectations. Please know, that is not your life! That Hollywood style life you see in the movies, the magazines, all the online social media profiles, all this is not your life! Your life is your life! This is what you have built and you need to love it, own it, and respect it! Don’t let yourselves burn out being put out because you feel you’re not measuring up to everyone elses life! Take what you have and love it, work to make it better, and remember to breath while you do it!
We are living, breathing, flesh and blood humans who, at times, need to stop and take a breath. Take a break. And refuel our flames!
One of my biggest refuels is my husband! He always helps to “fill” me back up when I start to run low!
In starting this journey I honestly wasn’t really sure what all this site would unfold. I wasn’t sure what mindset I would be in each day so I could never really say what one thing I wanted to focus on. What one thing I wanted to come to you and encourage you on each day. What one thing I wanted to be standing ground to build upon.
In taking a few days to write out some of my thoughts to you all, I had one of those lightbulb moments go off late last night as I laid in bed.
Advice.
Since about five years old all I’ve wanted to do was help others. Be there for others. Be a comfort and a support for any who needed. Now, I have realized one of my greatest strengths is listening.
They say the biggest help someone can give to another that is hurting is just being there and listening to them. Talk to them. Help them make sense of what’s going on, how they feel, and what they can do.
This is where you can email me any and all questions you have.
Moving and your nervous about what its going to be like? In a relationship that you’re worried isn’t going anywhere? Have a friend that is on a road that isn’t leading them anywhere good?
I am here.
Each week I will go through my emails, write back to you, and publish to my site.
ALL EMAILS SENT TO ME WILL BE COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS!!! I promise nothing you send will be tracked, sold, shared, or discussed with anyone or anything! Your name will be removed before uploading to the site and all HIPAA rules will apply!
I want you to know I am here to only help.
We all need someone to talk through things, and that’s what I am here for.
We can’t do this on our own. We need each other to grow and become better.
So I’m not gonna lie this was something I completely came up with on the spur of the moment for lunch yesterday!
Craving a sandwich, I just started grabbing anything I thought would “mix” well together! Some may cringe at the thought of mixing these items together, my sister for one, but I promise this strange new twist on chicken salad will be the new refreshing taste you’re looking for this summer!!
Below is a list of the ingredients and how much of each I mixed together!
INGREDIENTS:
⁃ 2 cups shredded chicken
⁃ 1 cup mayonnaise
⁃ 1/2 cup sweet relish
⁃ 1/3 cup ranch
⁃ 2 tablespoons lemon juice
⁃ 1 teaspoon garlic powder
⁃ 1/2 teaspoon oregano
⁃ Salt and pepper to taste
Optional Additions:
⁃ Pecans
⁃ Apples or Grapes
I know, crazy that someone would come up with something so traverse but I would love to hear how you liked it!
I didn’t have any apples at the time but I feel this would be delicious with some nice juicy red apples!
Your day begins with an fast paced wake up call, either by an alarm, kids, or my case three needy dogs. You roll out of bed, throw whatever you can piece together on. If you’re lucky, you can grab a piece of toast or a shake out the fridge and Then your off.
Does this sound like someone you know?
Or better, does this sound like you?
I know for a while it was me.
I was the Queen of waking up, throwing myself together and just going. I felt like I was always going. Like it was just a constant state of my being that I couldn’t control. I was burning myself out without even knowing it, and worse when I finally did notice I still didn’t have a clue what to do to help stop it! I felt like this was the normal part of being an adult though. Like constantly going was just what everyone was doing and I needed to just accept this was life, this was all apart of growing up and being an adult. You loose you time cause as an adult you’re supposed to focus more on work, or school, or family.
Bull junky!!
Yep, I said Bull Junky.
I’ll say it again!
Bull Junky on that!
It took me years to finally realized that that is not an acceptable way of living. Heck that’s barley living at all!! We all deserve a moment to stop! We all deserve a break to breath!
So I wanted to share five tips that has helped me to break out of the go, go, go state of anxiety, that circles us all, and focus on building myself up to help prepare me for a better day. Please, even if it’s only one, try to incorporate it into your life. Even with doing just one of these a day I promise it will help. Let the time you do this be your reminder everyday that your important too, your thoughts, feelings, dreams and desires all matter too!
One:
Follow the fifteen min rule. If you don’t know what that is don’t feel bad, i just made it up, but it seriously is my favorite tip I can give.
Whatever time you wake up, rather that be at five in the morning or at seven or even at two in the afternoon, wake up fifteen min before. So your alarm is already set for 5:45, turn it to 5:30. Supposed to be up at 7? Set it for 6:45. 2 in the afternoon? Set that baby to 1:45. Make sense?
I know it sounds crazy but those fifteen minutes are a huge breather to start the day. Rather you use them to just lay and wake up, and i mean really wake up not just fall back asleep, or you get up and stretch, make coffee, or actually make some real foods for breakfast!
Sorry, half my blood stream is coffee so that’s my go to every day!
Use these fifteen min as you time. Relax and just sit and think. Sit and read a chapter of your favorite book or go stand outside and soak in the morning.
Which brings me to my next tip.
Two:
Take a step outside!
I’m not sure what all your schedule has, but nine times out of ten you will have a window your not doing anything for one minute. Literally one minute. Even if it’s just walk out take a breath and walk right back in. Take a step outside and breath in real fresh air.
My view every morning when I take a step out!
Three:
Eat something!
I know this really isnt a tip, more commen sense, your supposed to eat. But you will be surprised at how many people don’t eat breakfast!
We all need energy and fuel and the best time to get it is in the mornings when your body needs it. I know, its hard to stop and make a meal if you have deadlines, and kids, and appointments to make but no one is saying make a five course meal! Grab you some peanut butter crackers, or those little muffins that come in a package, or heck even some trail mix! My favorite is a piece of toast with butter!! Mhmm, seriously there is nothing toast with butter can’t make better!
Four:
Pray.
Everyone has their own belief’s and thoughts, and opinions on religion.
And I swear, I do not care by any means who you pray to or how you pray or even if you don’t believe in anything at. That is your choice as a human being and we all have free will! That’s a world thing not just am American thing.
Just pray though.
It doesn’t matter who you pray to but take that time and be in peace with the higher power you love.
I can not tell you how much this helps, even if you’re like me and sit and just talk about your struggles or worries you may have, essentially to yourself, do it. Talking it out really helps to get you on a good mindset for the day.
Lastly, Five:
Go look in your mirror, smile, and say, “you are beautiful!”
Heck this one needs to be done like a hundred times a day if you can!
Smile at yourself. Give yourself a compliment. Speak kind words to yourself. Take a moment to show yourself true love.
You spend your days being nice to others and smiling at them so why not give yourself one. They say smiling at a stranger helps promote peace and radiates positivity so just imagine if just once a day you smiled at yourself. You gave yourself some peace and allow yourself to be filled with positivity. Just imagine.
One of my favorite “selfies”, just cause I got my girls in on it with me! This was the night before my wedding and they were already pooped for the night! It was only 8:30pm!
I really do hope these help! You deserve love, you deserve peace and happiness. And you can get those things! Even if your entire day isn’t rainbows and lollipops you deserve a minute everyday to breath and break free from your struggles. Try one of these a day, try all five if you can, and give it a week. After that week see how you feel, see if you notice a difference in yourself and how you Perceive the world around you. See if you’ve found time to breath more or smile at yourself more.
For some, the worst part of growing up is the uncertainty that what you were taught as a child will not actually apply to your adult life. For most of us, what we were taught at home and our school is the fundamentals to how we go about our daily lives.
You were taught to not put aluminum foil in the microwave – and if you weren’t I am teaching you now, do not put it in there, unless your trying to buy a new microwave! – so you were probably taught that at home, by a parent or guardian or experience like myself.
My poor grandmother’s microwave.
Or you were told by some kid at school or by a teacher, and in that case you more in likey went home and attempted it before someone came and caught you.
Now though, that lesson has stuck with you. It is something that you won’t really forget and something, I hope anyways, you pass on to your kids or others that dont know.
You were probably also taught the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
This was always huge in Sunday schools or first grade classrooms. Its supposed to be the biggest “rule” to follow as a human being. The most basic concept, “don’t do something to someone you wouldn’t want done to you.”
This rule, for myself at least, is kind of a alarm in my head. Everytime I have something come up, or things don’t go the way I want, or someone does something they shouldn’t have, this alarm goes off and is like. “Okay Mallory, now I know this sucks but would you want someone to act this way towards you, or say these things to you?” And of course not. No one wants to be talked to hateful or made to feel bad for things out of their control.
Now, I’d like to say if you are in a situation where you do have to hold your tongue or you don’t lash out when someone else is being hateful to you then that is not okay either. The people talking to you that way, or making you feel bad, isn’t following the rule so for some situations you shouldn’t either. You deserve every bit of respect as every other person on this planet and shouldn’t settle for holding back, you shouldn’t let someone treat you any less than the Goddess/God you are!
My point is though, these lessons or rules we were taught as kids stay with us. They shape us. From the way we socialize with others. The way we eat, drink, and exercise. The way we present ourselves at work, or at the ballfields, or even at church. Or simply, just the way we live our every days lives.
Here’s the kicker now, and wait for it, its a doozy.
You can learn more!
You can become more!
I know, crazy to think your not done growing!
All those lesson, those rules you learned, yes helped mold you into who you are as of right now but they were just the base! You may be just starting out on this journey called life or you may be Fifty plus years into it but it doesn’t matter, anyone can learn something new! Anyone can change the way they go about their lives. That’s the beauty of free will.
The only thing that stops you from doing anything is yourself! – instert fist pump into the air.
Someone, somewhere, just eye rolled.
I know, it’s a cliche saying.
I promise you though, that sentence is one hundred percent truth!
The only thing that stops you from doing anything is yourself!
I strongly believe we weren’t put on this Earth to just live, but to grow, to learn from each other and ourselves.
If you’re in a place where your nervous about something upcoming or your lost to what your next step should be in life that’s okay! We all get that way, we are all trying to figure this out. Some people seem like they have it all figured out, but I promise we all have daily struggles, daily obstacles that get in the way. One of my favorite quotes is by Tim Hiller, “Do not compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”
This is just the start, you have already learned so much without even knowing! You have already begun to shape your life without even thinking about it!
You have the ability to turn your life into absolutely anything you want it to be. So why not learn something new. Why not make a new “rule” for yourself to help set yourself up for success or to help make a new habit that aids you.
The possibilities are seriously endless.
Do what makes you happy.
Become someone that makes you smile.
And don’t be scarred for the future, embrace it. Embrace knowing you can make your life into anything you want if you’re willing to learn it.
This was me the day I passed my insurance license test. Never in a million years would I have thought I could learn about something like this, but now, three years later, I have an amazing job that I love doing all because I CHOOSE to become more. I wanted more. It’s never to late to learn something new!
To many times do I see an image, in my head, or out in nature, and think, “oh yeah this would be a really cool picture.” Or, “aw I love this moment with Everyone, I want to capture it.”
But its almost just as soon as I have these thoughts or I reach for my camera, that this inner voice creeps up behind and belittles me. It says, “why? Why would anyone want to see that photo? No one sees what you see, no one cares about photos, let alone one you took.” Or, “you know everyone here will look at you if you get your phone out now. This isnt the place.” Or, one that constantly goes through my head, “Time with loved ones isn’t supposed to be seen through a lens.”
When I say this voice comes every time I have these thoughts to take a photo, I mean nine times out of ten it somehow pushes its way to the front of my brain and now its all I can hear or think about.
So about five times out of ten I will listen to it. I will stop myself from setting something up to take a photo of it or I’ll stop myself from grabbing my phone, just so I don’t get “looks”.
Five times out of ten.
I know that’s doesn’t sound like a lot but that’s fifty percent of the time ladies! Fifty percent of the time I dont “capture the moments”. Fifty percent of the time I don’t “create something cool” to take a picture of it. Fifty percent of the time I second guess myself.
Fifty percent of the time I let myself down.
Does this sound familiar?
Does this voice sound like something you’ve heard before, or maybe a version of it?
Since about the 90s technology and specially phones have blown up. I went from this little black phone, no bigger than my 10 year old selfs hand; that had no camera, no games, no internet, and even with texting I still didn’t cause, well, one I was 10 and texting wasn’t “super cool” just yet, and two, I had no Friends. Okay so probably should have started with the no friends one as that’s probably why it wasnt “super cool” to me back then. But my point is, I grew up while all this was getting big, so of course our families were trying to teach us the values of having a phone. The responsibility it came with. The dangerous that people were now an internet click away and visa versa. The, “if you click that internet button one more time this month!” talks my mother always had with me. And how this was only supposed to be a better way to connect. A better way of staying in contact with each other. It wasn’t meant for fun, or social media scrolling. Mostly cause there wasn’t any media platforms, well besides Myspace, and lets admit it…we all let Tom down. But these phones, all this new technology was mostly for business people. it was meant for people who really needed to stay connected to their jobs, and their businesses. Now yes, after a couple years almost everyone had one and you used it to connect to family members better. So when phones started to come with cameras, when you could actually start taking photos with people right there; good golly Mrs. Dolly, everyone and their mothers started taking photos! I remember my Moms first camera phone, the old at&t silver flip phone. This thing was like magic, I would steal it to take photos of our new puppy, or wherever we went for vacation we would get photos. So this inturn became the new normal. From disposal cameras to these handy dandy pocket cameras!
Still though, with taking photos being a new norm for everyone, we were still taught, “you live in the moment.” How were you to actually know what’s going on, or how were you to truly enjoy a moment if you looked at it through a lens.
Maybe it was just my family, maybe it was honestly just me, but whatever the reason I have no made a habit of second guessing myself every time I wanted a photo of something or someone.
I second guessed my moments.
Ladies, do you hear that…
I second guessed my moments.
How much anxiety does that sentence give you?
I wouln’t wish that apon my worst enemy, to second guess their own moments, their own thoughts, and feelings.
Okay, so let me pause here and tell you, yes, I have social media. Yes, I take lots of photos. Yes, I still post about things I like, about family and friends and all that good jazz. But I am still working on myself, I constantly try to be a little better than the day before so I can do these things, or at least have the courage too. I can sit up in my house all day and take photos and make post but it’s going out in public, its being around others and wanting to take the photos out there that I struggle with. I second guess myself so much out in public already.
If you ever met me or have met me and I seem totally cool on the outside, just know I’m internally Contemplating what I say next, or freaking out cause I just made a weird face without thinking and someone saw.
Now I know times have changed, really weird for a twenty five year old to say, but I know everyone is on there phones more now than ever. I know so many people, photographers, businesses, even kids use their phones for photos and videos and heck, even creating whole new businesses, but we all struggle with what people think at times. I struggle with my own internal self saying how no one would think my work was cool, or how family would think I was weird for always wanting to take photos of everything. And truth be told, yeah people probably do judge, my friends and family probably do have thoughts as to why I want photos but its not for them. My photos, my work I created isn’t for them! It’s taking something I have in my head and making it real. It’s making myself smile and feel good for doing something I wanted to do. Like this message to you. I tried to take a photo this morning of my relaxing spot, cause ya know it made me happy, and that’s when I heard the voice. So I stopped, then I thought, “why am I doing this to myself?” I am literally the only one here and I’m making my own self feel horrible for simply taking a photo of what made me smile? So in the midst of my morning routine I stopped to write this message cause it was in my head and I felt like it needed to come out. It helps make me feel better to express these thoughts. I dont know, maybe it’ll help you too? Maybe it’ll help encourage you that it doesnt matter for anyone but you what you allow yourself to do, to feel, to think and express. Maybe this will help spark a fire to go express yourself in any way that makes you smile. Maybe you send this to a friend cause thats your way of expressing and helping others. I don’t know, maybe you don’t do anything.
And really, that is perfectly okay too.
I wrote this to help myself, to give myself encouragement and to help fuel my spark. I wrote this to let the voice in my own head know, “I will no longer allow you to make me second guess myself.”
So here’s to the other fifty percent I will no longer miss to capture. The fifty percent I will no longer even acknowledge the others around so I can keep my smile while I sneak a shot of my husband’s crazy face.
If we all did fifty percent more of whatever scared us, or made us uncomfortable. Heck, if we even did ten percent more of that could you imagine the work we would see? The new photos, the new books, new architect, new fashion designs, new recipes, new diy crafts? If we all did just fifty, or even ten, percent more of whatever scared us, whatever that little voice is making you second guess, could you just imagine what we would see in the next five years? The next ten?
Our world needs growth to live, it needs new in order to maintain the old. Without new we become nothing but faint memories of the “what use to be”. We need that fifty percent to create something that our kids, our grandkids use to help shape their lives and world.
We are meant to help build up each other.
We need each other.
We need you. Your Fifty percent. Your ten percent. Our world need what makes you smile too.
So I have come to realize…no one cares. Hear me out now… I have spent my entire life with a certain “image” in my head of how I should be. Kind, Loving, Hardworking, Accepting of Everyone, and most importantly Forgiving. And I really do try to live that way cause I feel we could all use a little more of each in our lives. But, I have also spent most my life with a certain “image” of how I should look and act. So now that’s constantly made me worried that I’m doing something wrong or I’m not good enough at times. Don’t ask me why cause I honestly dont have an answer as to why, maybe my childhood, maybe my adulthood, who knows. But I do know I’m not alone, I know there are women everywhere that constantly worry they are messing up, constantly thinking they aren’t good enough, and the truth is…no one cares!! Not in the bad sense I promise but in the YOU ARE NOT ALONE sense! All of us are thinking and feeling this way, and if you dont then congrats ! That is so awesome and I could not be more proud (and secretly envious) of you!! But for the ones of us that have these thoughts, these feelings, the constant looking in the mirror and your smile goes to a frown…you are not alone! And Sis, listen to me, no one cares! Do not let yourself go through life worrying about what you look like, worrying about how you should act or if that one person really does or doesn’t like you. You live your life! Act the way you want, wear whatever you want, talk, feel, love HOWEVER YOU WANT! Cause in reality we all have so much going on, so much that we ourselves are constantly worried about that if someone does have the time to judge you for you being you then obviously that’s just proof you are that amazing to be on someone else’s mind and they can kiss what the good Lord gave ya! I say all of this so that the feelings you have now you know it’s not just you, its not just me, its us, its we. As women we have to build each other up in every way possible. And I hope this helps to build you! So here’s to being “over” myself! Over all the negative thinking, the negative feelings, the negative talk (that really only I say to myself). And Here’s to growth, to knowing I like me, my family likes me, my friends like me… exactly the way I am. And Here’s to you, for it only takes one day, one moment to change your thoughts, to change your perspective on yourself and how you view your life and others! I know you can do it! Here’s to us!
Healing House & Home 