Accepting yourself. Accepting others. Accepting our world. Its hard sometimes. Unfortunately acceptance is not something that comes naturally to many of us. It’s not something we just do, or that we are. A lot of times it’s something we really work hard at. To be able to accept the commodities around us. To Accept the people around us. To accept ourselves for who we are.
I honestly couldn’t say which is harder.
At what point in our existence did we as humans start to not accept anymore? To turn to a way where all we do is judge another or complain for what we have. Where we put so much expectation on ourselves to be a certian way or live a certian life, all for what? To keep up with this materialistic world we live in? To make sure no one sees our weaknesses or has negative comments to say? To fake a smile at a stranger cause we wish they would give us the same?
Why though? Why is it so hard for us to coexist on this place we call home? To live together on this Earth in total peace.
Why is something that is so easy to do so hard for us? Acceptance is as easy as saying, “okay”. Nothing more, nothing less. Just okay.
If for one day our World could look at its neighbor and say, “I see you are different than I, but that’s okay, we are all one being living on this Earth. We all share one world. We are all together forever.”
If for one day we could all look into the mirror and just smile, because we know that who we are is needed for this World! Who we are was perfectly made for this time now! Who we are at this moment is just the beginning of who we can become!
If for one day we all just accepted.
Imagine it!
Acceptance is hard!
The choice to choose not to accept though, is harder, but it is just a choice!
Your choice, to say “okay” or not.
Life can be hard, but Accepting doesn’t have to be!
Blessed be my loves!! I hope your Monday morning is going amazing!!
Today will be short but I wanted to make sure to post about this, as this year’s celebration really meant so much to me in my journey.
Lammas, also known as Lughnasagh, to honor the Celtic God Lugh, the God of Light and Craftsmanship, is the celebration of the harvest!
This was the time of the year tribes, villages, and covens would come to harvest their wheat, grains, oats and rye to make room for the new seeds of the year!
This is the time for transformation and new beginnings, this is the time for Rebirth and awakening.
In just starting my own journey of rebirth and Discovery getting to celebrate this, on my birthday no less, meant more than one could ever know! We all live our lives in hopes that one day we will find our purpose or our reasoning for being, but after yesterday. After taking the time to just be. After taking in all that I have already accomplished, I have realized its not our purpose in life to find a reasoning, but it is our purpose to be the reasoning. Be the reasoning someone else find peace, happiness, love, or Sanctuary.
Be what you seek, and become what others seek.
So gather your harvest, from this physical world, and the spiritual, and give thanks. Put into the world Everything you want back from it. Plant the seeds in your life that you can’t wait to harvest next year. Join together in your own tribe or community and give back together.
We Honor the past and our ancestors by taking this time to celebrate what we already have and allow it to remind ourselves of all that we have yet to come! To many times in this new world we take for granted what all our ancestors had to fight for, what all the had to do to survive. It wasn’t as easy as going to the market to buy bread or vegetables, or buying a new shirt when yours gets a hole. They worked hard everyday to make what they could so they could live. Simply live. Nothing more than that. They joined together in their communities to take part in the harvest each year as it was a celebration of all the year has given, and to give back so that the next will be just as plentiful.
Blessed be my loves. Go forth and be blessed, always!
Home-made Honey Rosemary Bread for Offering! First time making this recipe and it turned out amazing!!!
As children we are told to look up to our elders and use them as role models. To use the doctors, the firefighters, the people in power, and so many more as our guides for wisdom. Now, while it is true that we need these role models to help set the examples of the good we need in our world and our lives, we don’t realize we’ve had these role models all along. We’ve had guides to help us along on our journey.
When you can find good in someone or something you’ve seen then it becomes easier to spot. It’s easier to become good when you surround yourself with it, and it’s easier to be good when you have something to base the good off of.
So why not use the past as a way to help guide our future? Why not use the stories of our ancestors and all they went through as a guide of where you came from? Why not use the legends of heros to show us there is good in the world? Why not use the stories of the Gods to show us we will always have somewhere to turn?
What if you could turn to multiple role models as guides and mentor’s?
Do you seek wisdom for upcoming decision that needs to be made? Reach out to Athena, the goddess of Wisdom and War. She can help guide you in any upcoming battles you may face.
Do you seek love? Reach out to Freya, the Goddess of Love and Fertility. She can help you reconnect with your inner love and allow you to give and receive it.
Do you need courage and strength to get through your day? Reach out to Kratos, he is the embodiment of strength, and can help you find yours.
Do you seek balance in your life? Reach out to Hecate. She is what balance is. She controls the heavens, the earth, and the seas. She is both maiden, mother, and crown. She is who I reach for in times of need. She can help you find that balance you seek.
You see, there are so many from our past that we can use to help guide us.
When we seek guidance, we can usually find it. It’s up to you though to determine rather its good or bad and if you want to use it or have it in your life. Not all guidance that is given can be helpful, but if we turn it all away then you will never know where you could have gone.
“Be what you seek, and become what others seek.”
Use the past to guide you in all that you do! Seek out good, in yourself, and in others!
Be the Goddess or God that you need in that moment, in that time. Appreciate all that you have been through and overcome. Rejoice in all that is left to experience and gain in life. Then, truly accept that you can be all that you already are and more.
Use your past and the past of our ancestors to lay a way for your path in life.
Walk it with honor and pride, and when you get the chance, share your story with others. Let your stories be a guide for others needing, and those yet to come.
Now say, “I am happy, I am healthy and I am full of love!
Take a second. How did that feel to say? Are you just thinking it or actually saying it out loud?
What you say and how you say it mean everything when it comes to speaking to yourself.
Words are important!
Without words are world would be a blank canvas of untapped beauty. We need words.
From speaking to each other, being able to read and write, and most important speaking to ourselves words are what make up our lives.
Words are power and words are important! If you’re not use to speaking these types of affirmations out loud I challenge you, once a day for 30 days speak one of the below out loud. Go stand in your mirror or sit up in your bed in the morning and speak these words.
⁃ I am healthy
⁃ I am strong
⁃ I am full of love and happiness
⁃ I will be a flame for others
⁃ I will full my positivity
⁃ I have the energy to bless others
⁃ I am deserving of kindness and respect
⁃ I am beautiful
⁃ I am no less than anyone I meet
⁃ I love who I am
⁃ I love all that I have achieved
⁃ I love all that I can become
⁃ I will overcome anything
For 30 days, that is all I ask! Say at least one of these to yourself. If you can go to a mirror and look at yourself when you do that’s even better, you need to know who your talking too.
When you look into the mirror really look at yourself, the curves of your face. The dimples on your checks. Does your nose wrinkle? When you smile do you show teeth? Really look at yourself, study yourself and repeat at least one if not all of these affirmations. Don’t just whisper them…I want you to yell them!
Yell,
“I love who I see in the mirror!”
You are beautiful. You are strong, and You deserve unending happiness. No if, ands, or buts about it! You DESERVE it all!
Today I am here to share with you my morning tips and practices to help get you in the right mindset to conquer your day!
First let me say, I know tarot readings are not for everyone! I know and understand that each of us have their own beliefs and I am in no way trying to get you to give up something for something else! I only want to share with you my practice and how it has helped me, not only, feel better about myself and my days, but how it has helped me to connect better to the world around. It has helped me find a inner balance within myself, and has allowed me more confidence in my everyday life.
Sounds impossible to achieve doesn’t it?
I promise you though Hun, it isn’t!
Its honestly one of the easiest ways to have one of those feel good moments in your day!
Now I usually do my practice in the mornings. I have a whole, “wake up an hour before to start the day” rule I set for myself. This hour gives me time to just be and reflect on myself, and my mind gets to focus on everything it “doesn’t have time for” during my actual work day.
I know we all can feel that!
I strongly recommend if you haven’t before, try it! Get up one hour before your normal time! Unless you’re getting up at like three In the morning then, in that case, girl sleep! This morning ritual isnt for you, make yours a night time ritual! Anytime of the day is a great time for a reading!
My point is one hour of your day! Just one! Dedicate it to yourself. Dedicate it to time that allows yourself to grow. To find peace and balance. Time that will allow you to love yourself even more. You deserve that!
Below are a list of questions that I normally stick around for my morning practices. I listed them from single card layouts to a three card layout. Obviously there are so many other layouts and questions out there, and please I encourage you, if your interested in learning more go for it! For myself though, I have found the below really has help me focus in on my life, and myself, and allowed me to open up more of who I am to others.
Single Card Layout Questions:
⁃ What can I focus on today to help my path?
⁃ What do I need to let go of to help me today?
⁃ How can I embrace today?
All of these really help to have a main focus point for your day. Make sure to embrace what is being said as well, even if it’s not something you like or understand yet. The point is to have a connection. To have a time for yourself to just breath and connect to the energies around you.
Two Card Layout Questions:
⁃ Talk to me – have a conversation with your deck. Your deck is pure energy so sometimes its nice to just let it talk instead of asking it a question about yourself or life. I do two card spread on this and ask, “what do they see?”, and “what do they have to say?” But you can do a one card as well if you’d like.
⁃ What’s holding me back – this can be done as a two card or three card spread. First, shuffle or mix, your deck. Next, concentrate and focus in on your energy; you will need to find your Death card in the Deck. For a TWO card spread you will look for the card BEHIND your Death card. This is the “let go” card. If you do this as a Three card spread, then along with the card behind the Death card you will pull the card IN FRONT of your Death card. This is what you should put focus on. I say this can be done as a two card only because sometimes we don’t need a “new focus” we only need to know what to let go off and focus on that completely. To each their own though, I have used my deck for both and both ways have helped me!
Three Card Layout Questions:
⁃ Embrace/ Let Go/ Understand or Accept – this spread is to help you find what you need to embrace, either about yourself or your life. What you should focus on letting go of. And message to help you better Understand or Accept this reading.
⁃ Past/ Present/ Future – as obvious as this one sounds I do want to point out, don’t just ask for a broad understanding of each. Be specific. Don’t ask, “what do you see for my future.” Ask, “what do you see in 6 months for my future.” Narrowing down your thoughts helps for a better focused practice and a better connection to get the answers you need from your guides.
Sounds like fun right!
Now I use these questions as sort of my guides for the day. I keep whatever cards I pull out for the whole day and either that night, or the next morning, I’ll reflect.
Now have you heard of Baader-Meinhof phenomenon?
Short story, you notice something new, or new to you and you start seeing it everywhere. Like if you just got a new red car, suddenly, you’re seeing red cars all over the place.
I use the semi same concept for myself.
If I pull a card that says, “spiritual overflow” then I’m going to be looking for places and times thats coming into play today. If I pull a, “trouble focusing” card, then when I start to get distracted throughout the day I can recall this and take note of the thing that makes me distracted.
It’s really, simply put, you ask for a sign you’re going to get one.
I love signs though, I love connecting to a form of myself that I can trust my instinct and the feelings around me! I’m an empath though, so focusing of feelings and energies is what I’m good at and what I enjoy being able to do!
Like I said though, tarot reading may not be for everyone. You may have your morning car rides from home to work you like to just pray. You may do bible studies or gather with friends and discuss beliefs. You may use other ways and beliefs to connect to your world and yourself, and that’s okay! That is awesome actually! I only want you to realize, you DESERVE that time. Not, you need it, or see if it can fit into your busy schedule, but you DESERVE it!
Use this morning practice as a way to kick start your flame!
Let this time fill you with so much energy and happiness that your overflowing! Let it be, when you do go to work, or school, or even just to see someone for the day, let it overflow you so much you’re able to give some energy to someone else!
You deserve happiness, you deserve love, and you deserve peace. We all do, and we all can have if we help to build each other up in our lives and our practices! Good luck!
For I know, I am, and I Will Become all that I can be and More!
Talking to my family, and friends it feels like we all have so much going on. So much already scheduled out in our days, heck weeks really, that we go, go, go till we eventually burn ourselves out.
We get to a point where everything is just to much; we either lash out at others, shut down and block everyone out, or break down and feel completely worthless.
Sensory overload maybe?
A way of dealing with internal emotional baggage?
Maybe a complex of how you were raised?
Well I am here to tell you, this is noy okay Sis! These feelings, these burnouts. This sense that you have to continue on this neverending cycle of go, go, go, burn out, hurt someone or worse yourself, then do it all again.
That is not okay!
You need to refuel yourself. You need to stop and take in what is around you. Stop and breath new life into yourself. Make sure your internal flame is burning bright!
If your enternal flame gets deprived of oxygen to where its nothing but a burning ember trying to hold onto the heat, who does that help? How does you being run ragged helping anyone? How is you going till your completely burned out bringing any happiness or joy to you or those around you? Your flame deserves to always burn bright! To always bring light, warmth, and comfort to your life.
Every living person has that flame! Its our enternal being, our soul, our deeper consciousness. Some flames burn so bright you feel their radiation, you feel their warmth and are drawn to them. There are some that you connect too, you both fuel each other and y’all continue to help grow both your flames. Some flames help to fuel yours, they are the givers, they are always the ones that make you feel good after being with them. You may know a flame that just inflames yours, you can’t be around theirs or it doesn’t end good? Others you may feel off about. Some, theirs are barley holding on, their flames have been stolen of oxygen and are fighting to stay alive.
My point is, we all have one. We all work hard every day to keeps ours going, fueling it with whatever happiness and joy we can. Pushing ourselves to find more so we can continue to burn.
That inside burn you get deep in your stomach when you’re truly happy. When you come up with a new idea for a project or business. When you make a bomb dish for the holidays and everyone loves it! When you score the winning shot at the buzzer! When you propose to the love of your life, and they say yes!
This is what you should work for everyday. This is what you need to take a moment everyday and think about, focus on, and push to refuel, everyday! Without your flame burning, fueling you, how can you invite happiness, how can accept happiness?
How can you give happiness?
You need your to refuel yourself!
We sometimes forget, we are not built to constantly go. We are not meant to have every part of our days mapped out for us, and sometimes we need to just recharge. We need to refuel out flames.
You need to take a breath. Flames can’t grow without oxygen and if you push yourself to go, go, go then your going to start to loose your breath and essentially you’re stealing your own oxygen. Your own push to go constantly, and be and live, thats you putting yourself out.
I guess our society has painted us all a picture of how we should go about about our days, and then we get upset when we fall short of those expectations. Please know, that is not your life! That Hollywood style life you see in the movies, the magazines, all the online social media profiles, all this is not your life! Your life is your life! This is what you have built and you need to love it, own it, and respect it! Don’t let yourselves burn out being put out because you feel you’re not measuring up to everyone elses life! Take what you have and love it, work to make it better, and remember to breath while you do it!
We are living, breathing, flesh and blood humans who, at times, need to stop and take a breath. Take a break. And refuel our flames!
One of my biggest refuels is my husband! He always helps to “fill” me back up when I start to run low!
Your day begins with an fast paced wake up call, either by an alarm, kids, or my case three needy dogs. You roll out of bed, throw whatever you can piece together on. If you’re lucky, you can grab a piece of toast or a shake out the fridge and Then your off.
Does this sound like someone you know?
Or better, does this sound like you?
I know for a while it was me.
I was the Queen of waking up, throwing myself together and just going. I felt like I was always going. Like it was just a constant state of my being that I couldn’t control. I was burning myself out without even knowing it, and worse when I finally did notice I still didn’t have a clue what to do to help stop it! I felt like this was the normal part of being an adult though. Like constantly going was just what everyone was doing and I needed to just accept this was life, this was all apart of growing up and being an adult. You loose you time cause as an adult you’re supposed to focus more on work, or school, or family.
Bull junky!!
Yep, I said Bull Junky.
I’ll say it again!
Bull Junky on that!
It took me years to finally realized that that is not an acceptable way of living. Heck that’s barley living at all!! We all deserve a moment to stop! We all deserve a break to breath!
So I wanted to share five tips that has helped me to break out of the go, go, go state of anxiety, that circles us all, and focus on building myself up to help prepare me for a better day. Please, even if it’s only one, try to incorporate it into your life. Even with doing just one of these a day I promise it will help. Let the time you do this be your reminder everyday that your important too, your thoughts, feelings, dreams and desires all matter too!
One:
Follow the fifteen min rule. If you don’t know what that is don’t feel bad, i just made it up, but it seriously is my favorite tip I can give.
Whatever time you wake up, rather that be at five in the morning or at seven or even at two in the afternoon, wake up fifteen min before. So your alarm is already set for 5:45, turn it to 5:30. Supposed to be up at 7? Set it for 6:45. 2 in the afternoon? Set that baby to 1:45. Make sense?
I know it sounds crazy but those fifteen minutes are a huge breather to start the day. Rather you use them to just lay and wake up, and i mean really wake up not just fall back asleep, or you get up and stretch, make coffee, or actually make some real foods for breakfast!
Sorry, half my blood stream is coffee so that’s my go to every day!
Use these fifteen min as you time. Relax and just sit and think. Sit and read a chapter of your favorite book or go stand outside and soak in the morning.
Which brings me to my next tip.
Two:
Take a step outside!
I’m not sure what all your schedule has, but nine times out of ten you will have a window your not doing anything for one minute. Literally one minute. Even if it’s just walk out take a breath and walk right back in. Take a step outside and breath in real fresh air.
My view every morning when I take a step out!
Three:
Eat something!
I know this really isnt a tip, more commen sense, your supposed to eat. But you will be surprised at how many people don’t eat breakfast!
We all need energy and fuel and the best time to get it is in the mornings when your body needs it. I know, its hard to stop and make a meal if you have deadlines, and kids, and appointments to make but no one is saying make a five course meal! Grab you some peanut butter crackers, or those little muffins that come in a package, or heck even some trail mix! My favorite is a piece of toast with butter!! Mhmm, seriously there is nothing toast with butter can’t make better!
Four:
Pray.
Everyone has their own belief’s and thoughts, and opinions on religion.
And I swear, I do not care by any means who you pray to or how you pray or even if you don’t believe in anything at. That is your choice as a human being and we all have free will! That’s a world thing not just am American thing.
Just pray though.
It doesn’t matter who you pray to but take that time and be in peace with the higher power you love.
I can not tell you how much this helps, even if you’re like me and sit and just talk about your struggles or worries you may have, essentially to yourself, do it. Talking it out really helps to get you on a good mindset for the day.
Lastly, Five:
Go look in your mirror, smile, and say, “you are beautiful!”
Heck this one needs to be done like a hundred times a day if you can!
Smile at yourself. Give yourself a compliment. Speak kind words to yourself. Take a moment to show yourself true love.
You spend your days being nice to others and smiling at them so why not give yourself one. They say smiling at a stranger helps promote peace and radiates positivity so just imagine if just once a day you smiled at yourself. You gave yourself some peace and allow yourself to be filled with positivity. Just imagine.
One of my favorite “selfies”, just cause I got my girls in on it with me! This was the night before my wedding and they were already pooped for the night! It was only 8:30pm!
I really do hope these help! You deserve love, you deserve peace and happiness. And you can get those things! Even if your entire day isn’t rainbows and lollipops you deserve a minute everyday to breath and break free from your struggles. Try one of these a day, try all five if you can, and give it a week. After that week see how you feel, see if you notice a difference in yourself and how you Perceive the world around you. See if you’ve found time to breath more or smile at yourself more.
For some, the worst part of growing up is the uncertainty that what you were taught as a child will not actually apply to your adult life. For most of us, what we were taught at home and our school is the fundamentals to how we go about our daily lives.
You were taught to not put aluminum foil in the microwave – and if you weren’t I am teaching you now, do not put it in there, unless your trying to buy a new microwave! – so you were probably taught that at home, by a parent or guardian or experience like myself.
My poor grandmother’s microwave.
Or you were told by some kid at school or by a teacher, and in that case you more in likey went home and attempted it before someone came and caught you.
Now though, that lesson has stuck with you. It is something that you won’t really forget and something, I hope anyways, you pass on to your kids or others that dont know.
You were probably also taught the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
This was always huge in Sunday schools or first grade classrooms. Its supposed to be the biggest “rule” to follow as a human being. The most basic concept, “don’t do something to someone you wouldn’t want done to you.”
This rule, for myself at least, is kind of a alarm in my head. Everytime I have something come up, or things don’t go the way I want, or someone does something they shouldn’t have, this alarm goes off and is like. “Okay Mallory, now I know this sucks but would you want someone to act this way towards you, or say these things to you?” And of course not. No one wants to be talked to hateful or made to feel bad for things out of their control.
Now, I’d like to say if you are in a situation where you do have to hold your tongue or you don’t lash out when someone else is being hateful to you then that is not okay either. The people talking to you that way, or making you feel bad, isn’t following the rule so for some situations you shouldn’t either. You deserve every bit of respect as every other person on this planet and shouldn’t settle for holding back, you shouldn’t let someone treat you any less than the Goddess/God you are!
My point is though, these lessons or rules we were taught as kids stay with us. They shape us. From the way we socialize with others. The way we eat, drink, and exercise. The way we present ourselves at work, or at the ballfields, or even at church. Or simply, just the way we live our every days lives.
Here’s the kicker now, and wait for it, its a doozy.
You can learn more!
You can become more!
I know, crazy to think your not done growing!
All those lesson, those rules you learned, yes helped mold you into who you are as of right now but they were just the base! You may be just starting out on this journey called life or you may be Fifty plus years into it but it doesn’t matter, anyone can learn something new! Anyone can change the way they go about their lives. That’s the beauty of free will.
The only thing that stops you from doing anything is yourself! – instert fist pump into the air.
Someone, somewhere, just eye rolled.
I know, it’s a cliche saying.
I promise you though, that sentence is one hundred percent truth!
The only thing that stops you from doing anything is yourself!
I strongly believe we weren’t put on this Earth to just live, but to grow, to learn from each other and ourselves.
If you’re in a place where your nervous about something upcoming or your lost to what your next step should be in life that’s okay! We all get that way, we are all trying to figure this out. Some people seem like they have it all figured out, but I promise we all have daily struggles, daily obstacles that get in the way. One of my favorite quotes is by Tim Hiller, “Do not compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”
This is just the start, you have already learned so much without even knowing! You have already begun to shape your life without even thinking about it!
You have the ability to turn your life into absolutely anything you want it to be. So why not learn something new. Why not make a new “rule” for yourself to help set yourself up for success or to help make a new habit that aids you.
The possibilities are seriously endless.
Do what makes you happy.
Become someone that makes you smile.
And don’t be scarred for the future, embrace it. Embrace knowing you can make your life into anything you want if you’re willing to learn it.
This was me the day I passed my insurance license test. Never in a million years would I have thought I could learn about something like this, but now, three years later, I have an amazing job that I love doing all because I CHOOSE to become more. I wanted more. It’s never to late to learn something new!
To many times do I see an image, in my head, or out in nature, and think, “oh yeah this would be a really cool picture.” Or, “aw I love this moment with Everyone, I want to capture it.”
But its almost just as soon as I have these thoughts or I reach for my camera, that this inner voice creeps up behind and belittles me. It says, “why? Why would anyone want to see that photo? No one sees what you see, no one cares about photos, let alone one you took.” Or, “you know everyone here will look at you if you get your phone out now. This isnt the place.” Or, one that constantly goes through my head, “Time with loved ones isn’t supposed to be seen through a lens.”
When I say this voice comes every time I have these thoughts to take a photo, I mean nine times out of ten it somehow pushes its way to the front of my brain and now its all I can hear or think about.
So about five times out of ten I will listen to it. I will stop myself from setting something up to take a photo of it or I’ll stop myself from grabbing my phone, just so I don’t get “looks”.
Five times out of ten.
I know that’s doesn’t sound like a lot but that’s fifty percent of the time ladies! Fifty percent of the time I dont “capture the moments”. Fifty percent of the time I don’t “create something cool” to take a picture of it. Fifty percent of the time I second guess myself.
Fifty percent of the time I let myself down.
Does this sound familiar?
Does this voice sound like something you’ve heard before, or maybe a version of it?
Since about the 90s technology and specially phones have blown up. I went from this little black phone, no bigger than my 10 year old selfs hand; that had no camera, no games, no internet, and even with texting I still didn’t cause, well, one I was 10 and texting wasn’t “super cool” just yet, and two, I had no Friends. Okay so probably should have started with the no friends one as that’s probably why it wasnt “super cool” to me back then. But my point is, I grew up while all this was getting big, so of course our families were trying to teach us the values of having a phone. The responsibility it came with. The dangerous that people were now an internet click away and visa versa. The, “if you click that internet button one more time this month!” talks my mother always had with me. And how this was only supposed to be a better way to connect. A better way of staying in contact with each other. It wasn’t meant for fun, or social media scrolling. Mostly cause there wasn’t any media platforms, well besides Myspace, and lets admit it…we all let Tom down. But these phones, all this new technology was mostly for business people. it was meant for people who really needed to stay connected to their jobs, and their businesses. Now yes, after a couple years almost everyone had one and you used it to connect to family members better. So when phones started to come with cameras, when you could actually start taking photos with people right there; good golly Mrs. Dolly, everyone and their mothers started taking photos! I remember my Moms first camera phone, the old at&t silver flip phone. This thing was like magic, I would steal it to take photos of our new puppy, or wherever we went for vacation we would get photos. So this inturn became the new normal. From disposal cameras to these handy dandy pocket cameras!
Still though, with taking photos being a new norm for everyone, we were still taught, “you live in the moment.” How were you to actually know what’s going on, or how were you to truly enjoy a moment if you looked at it through a lens.
Maybe it was just my family, maybe it was honestly just me, but whatever the reason I have no made a habit of second guessing myself every time I wanted a photo of something or someone.
I second guessed my moments.
Ladies, do you hear that…
I second guessed my moments.
How much anxiety does that sentence give you?
I wouln’t wish that apon my worst enemy, to second guess their own moments, their own thoughts, and feelings.
Okay, so let me pause here and tell you, yes, I have social media. Yes, I take lots of photos. Yes, I still post about things I like, about family and friends and all that good jazz. But I am still working on myself, I constantly try to be a little better than the day before so I can do these things, or at least have the courage too. I can sit up in my house all day and take photos and make post but it’s going out in public, its being around others and wanting to take the photos out there that I struggle with. I second guess myself so much out in public already.
If you ever met me or have met me and I seem totally cool on the outside, just know I’m internally Contemplating what I say next, or freaking out cause I just made a weird face without thinking and someone saw.
Now I know times have changed, really weird for a twenty five year old to say, but I know everyone is on there phones more now than ever. I know so many people, photographers, businesses, even kids use their phones for photos and videos and heck, even creating whole new businesses, but we all struggle with what people think at times. I struggle with my own internal self saying how no one would think my work was cool, or how family would think I was weird for always wanting to take photos of everything. And truth be told, yeah people probably do judge, my friends and family probably do have thoughts as to why I want photos but its not for them. My photos, my work I created isn’t for them! It’s taking something I have in my head and making it real. It’s making myself smile and feel good for doing something I wanted to do. Like this message to you. I tried to take a photo this morning of my relaxing spot, cause ya know it made me happy, and that’s when I heard the voice. So I stopped, then I thought, “why am I doing this to myself?” I am literally the only one here and I’m making my own self feel horrible for simply taking a photo of what made me smile? So in the midst of my morning routine I stopped to write this message cause it was in my head and I felt like it needed to come out. It helps make me feel better to express these thoughts. I dont know, maybe it’ll help you too? Maybe it’ll help encourage you that it doesnt matter for anyone but you what you allow yourself to do, to feel, to think and express. Maybe this will help spark a fire to go express yourself in any way that makes you smile. Maybe you send this to a friend cause thats your way of expressing and helping others. I don’t know, maybe you don’t do anything.
And really, that is perfectly okay too.
I wrote this to help myself, to give myself encouragement and to help fuel my spark. I wrote this to let the voice in my own head know, “I will no longer allow you to make me second guess myself.”
So here’s to the other fifty percent I will no longer miss to capture. The fifty percent I will no longer even acknowledge the others around so I can keep my smile while I sneak a shot of my husband’s crazy face.
If we all did fifty percent more of whatever scared us, or made us uncomfortable. Heck, if we even did ten percent more of that could you imagine the work we would see? The new photos, the new books, new architect, new fashion designs, new recipes, new diy crafts? If we all did just fifty, or even ten, percent more of whatever scared us, whatever that little voice is making you second guess, could you just imagine what we would see in the next five years? The next ten?
Our world needs growth to live, it needs new in order to maintain the old. Without new we become nothing but faint memories of the “what use to be”. We need that fifty percent to create something that our kids, our grandkids use to help shape their lives and world.
We are meant to help build up each other.
We need each other.
We need you. Your Fifty percent. Your ten percent. Our world need what makes you smile too.
So I have come to realize…no one cares. Hear me out now… I have spent my entire life with a certain “image” in my head of how I should be. Kind, Loving, Hardworking, Accepting of Everyone, and most importantly Forgiving. And I really do try to live that way cause I feel we could all use a little more of each in our lives. But, I have also spent most my life with a certain “image” of how I should look and act. So now that’s constantly made me worried that I’m doing something wrong or I’m not good enough at times. Don’t ask me why cause I honestly dont have an answer as to why, maybe my childhood, maybe my adulthood, who knows. But I do know I’m not alone, I know there are women everywhere that constantly worry they are messing up, constantly thinking they aren’t good enough, and the truth is…no one cares!! Not in the bad sense I promise but in the YOU ARE NOT ALONE sense! All of us are thinking and feeling this way, and if you dont then congrats ! That is so awesome and I could not be more proud (and secretly envious) of you!! But for the ones of us that have these thoughts, these feelings, the constant looking in the mirror and your smile goes to a frown…you are not alone! And Sis, listen to me, no one cares! Do not let yourself go through life worrying about what you look like, worrying about how you should act or if that one person really does or doesn’t like you. You live your life! Act the way you want, wear whatever you want, talk, feel, love HOWEVER YOU WANT! Cause in reality we all have so much going on, so much that we ourselves are constantly worried about that if someone does have the time to judge you for you being you then obviously that’s just proof you are that amazing to be on someone else’s mind and they can kiss what the good Lord gave ya! I say all of this so that the feelings you have now you know it’s not just you, its not just me, its us, its we. As women we have to build each other up in every way possible. And I hope this helps to build you! So here’s to being “over” myself! Over all the negative thinking, the negative feelings, the negative talk (that really only I say to myself). And Here’s to growth, to knowing I like me, my family likes me, my friends like me… exactly the way I am. And Here’s to you, for it only takes one day, one moment to change your thoughts, to change your perspective on yourself and how you view your life and others! I know you can do it! Here’s to us!
Healing House & Home 