What do you do to push yourself to get motivated? To push the others around you to get motivated? Does it just come naturally or are there steps to take? Can one find motivation even when the act they are doing is no where near what they thought or wanted?
The answer to each of those all depends on the person. It depends on the dedication your willing to put in to get the results you want. It depends on what your goal is and how much you really want it.
We’ve all had those moments where you’re so ready to go somewhere or do something, that others might not be excited about, and you’re just ready! Like pumped up ready! You remember that feeling? You remember wanting something so bad you didn’t care what it took? That’s motivation.
The literal definition of motivation is, “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.”
The desire or willingness to do something!
Is what you desire worth the dedication it takes to stay motivated for it? Are you willing to put in what’s needed to get what you want?
To say that each of us has motivation inside of us is true, but to say that we all use that motivation…well sometimes that’s a different story right?
So what can you do? What helps people stay motivated? What can you do to make sure you don’t loose what you desire?
1. Write down your goals! Write down what you actually want or desire to have. Review this regularly! You don’t have to constantly remember every goal you have, write them down so when you do come back to that list it will be there. It might just spark some motivation as soon as you see it again!
2. Use what makes you happy! Do you love listening to music? Pump that jam up then! Do you like to chew gum? Girl grab you some of that hubbu bubbu and get to it! Find the small things that make you happy and incorporate them into what you want, or need, so you can get more out of what your doing!
3. Reach out to others! I know, some people feel that if they reach out for help on something then it “doesn’t count” when they do it or finish it. This has to stop! We NEED each other in this world. We all need help at times, and to say you can do it all, all by yourself, is pure insanity. Reach out to a mentor when you need help in your career! Reach out to a couch if you want to work on physically feeling better! Reach out to a teacher if you want to learn something new! Reach out to a friend is you need encouragement! Reaching out doesn’t make you week, it makes it to where when you do get where your going you’ll have a tribe behind you that you know supports you!
4. Exercise! I can hear it now, “Boooooo, no work outs!” Sorry, not sorry though! Exercise is key to physically, emotionally, and mentally feeling better! Just 5 mins! Take 5 mins everyday and do a stretch, go for a jog, go knock out some crunches and abs! Be active! We can’t expect our goals to just come to us we have to chase them down, tackle them, and make them ours! Can you do all that if your not feeling good? If you barley get up and move everyday, how do you except to tackle that desire you have? Exercise just 5 mins a day, if you’re not use to it, and use that drive to push you in your other goals!
5. Reward yourself! No, I don’t mean go eat an entire tub of ice cream after every workout! No, I don’t mean go buy yourself everything in site because you were able to redo your budget and have extra money this month! No, I don’t mean go fly to the Bahamas cause you got an A+ on your test! I mean, if you just did a hard workout, go reward yourself with a nice hot bath and a piece of chocolate! A PIECE of dark chocolate is the best! If you were able to redo your budget and got some extra money, go have a nice lunch with a friend. If you just scored an A+ on that test, hell ya by the way, go celebrate with a nice relaxing night at home where you dont look at books or anything to do with that class! Or go have a nice night out with friends! It’s the little rewards that actually help push us for more!
So what are you going to do to get motivated? What tools will you use to keep yourself accountable for staying on track?
Write it all down! Whatever you think, or know that helps, write it down! Go back to it over and over and over again! Push yourself!
You can achieve everything you desire, you just go to GO FOR IT!
Now say, “I am happy, I am healthy and I am full of love!
Take a second. How did that feel to say? Are you just thinking it or actually saying it out loud?
What you say and how you say it mean everything when it comes to speaking to yourself.
Words are important!
Without words are world would be a blank canvas of untapped beauty. We need words.
From speaking to each other, being able to read and write, and most important speaking to ourselves words are what make up our lives.
Words are power and words are important! If you’re not use to speaking these types of affirmations out loud I challenge you, once a day for 30 days speak one of the below out loud. Go stand in your mirror or sit up in your bed in the morning and speak these words.
⁃ I am healthy
⁃ I am strong
⁃ I am full of love and happiness
⁃ I will be a flame for others
⁃ I will full my positivity
⁃ I have the energy to bless others
⁃ I am deserving of kindness and respect
⁃ I am beautiful
⁃ I am no less than anyone I meet
⁃ I love who I am
⁃ I love all that I have achieved
⁃ I love all that I can become
⁃ I will overcome anything
For 30 days, that is all I ask! Say at least one of these to yourself. If you can go to a mirror and look at yourself when you do that’s even better, you need to know who your talking too.
When you look into the mirror really look at yourself, the curves of your face. The dimples on your checks. Does your nose wrinkle? When you smile do you show teeth? Really look at yourself, study yourself and repeat at least one if not all of these affirmations. Don’t just whisper them…I want you to yell them!
Yell,
“I love who I see in the mirror!”
You are beautiful. You are strong, and You deserve unending happiness. No if, ands, or buts about it! You DESERVE it all!
It is possible! It’s a process, and a journey but it’s something so Worth it and it doesn’t have to be stressful!
Yeah you heard right!
It doesn’t have to be stressful!
So let me step back real quick, anything you want to do or have requires putting time and work into it! It takes dedication and the persistence to stick with it even if it gets hard! So with that being said you too can do anything you want! Anything you REALLY want! As long as your willing to stick with it and put in the time it takes to get it.
Want to go on vacation? Or start your own business? Or own your own house? You can, but are you willing to put the time and effort to get those things? That is the question you have to answer for yourself.
My husband, Dustin, and I have been married a little over a year now. We have been together 5 years in total and just bought our first home back in April! Looking back it really does seem that long ago, like everything went by so fast, but the road getting here was definitely no open highway drive!
We moved into our first townhouse, six months into our relationship, to this small town in the middle of nowhere. We pretty much became non-existent during that whole year and after the year was up we had to make the tough decision to move back in with Dustin’s parents.
Let me just stop real quick to say, God Bless the whole House family!
You will never met a better family, and I seriously am the luckiest to be blessed to have them as my family now! They took us in when we needed and allowed not only myself but our big ol baby Zowey to stay with them!
It was husband, my both my in-laws, my sister-in-law, two dogs, my other sister-in-law that would come home on the weekends from college, and myself all in this house. Somehow though, we all managed, we all just flowed together every day. Going into it I was so nervous, and honestly, embarrassed, but it went so much more easily then I could have ever thought. They immediately made me feel so welcomed and loved and, like I said, God Bless that family! That year turned out to be one of the biggest blessings too, I got the best job working with my mother-in-law at our insurance firm!
After that year though we were able to get our new rental house that we had for two years! It was a nice starter place. Perfect for my husband and myself and Zowey! Then we got Callie.
Callie is our, now 2 year old, Aussie and she is our little sissy! She is the sweetest thing in the world and her hugs make me melt! We got her the first year at that house and then a short year later we got Mamma. Mamma was my friends dog but her and her family were moving out of the country so they couldn’t take her, so we adopted her! She is our potato!
Zowey is the one on the left, Mamma (Potato) is middle, and Callie is on the right!
Now though, with my husband, me and three dogs, our home was starting to feel a tad cramped! It was time.
It took us exactly 4 months, viewing 22 houses, putting offers in on 8 houses, running and rerunning back to the bank for updated bank statements over and over, and so many “I’m over it!” before we got our home.
Remember when I said it takes dedication for something you want? Remember I said it takes time? Yeah…it takes it all when buying a house, but!
Yes there is a but!
But…I am going to give you a few tips and tricks to help get you started in your house buying process to help make it less of a stress for you!
One:
⁃ Make a list of what you want! – Go crazy with it! You want windows in every room? Put it on the list! You want at least 4 bedrooms? On the list! Put down anything and everything you want in a house! This is your dream, this is your goal! Put it down and read it over and over!
Two:
⁃ Make a list of what you can live without! – I know, kinda takes away from the first one, but hear me out! Now that you have it all listed out, Everything you want, big or small, you need to narrow down. Heck, if you can get everything on your list Whooo! You go girl! Unfortunately though, more times than not your not going to find a house that has exactly everything you want. Unless you build, and then again, You go girl!!! Narrow down though. If you can live without certain things on your list DONT MARK IT OFF, put a little mark next to it! You don’t have to take away, cause hey you may find it in a house, just mark so you know that’s not necessarily needed!
Three:
⁃ Really look at your budget! – some of you are probably thinking, “what the junk is a budget?” And in that case, honey, bless you. If you are getting ready to buy a house, or really buy anything that is a major purchase you’ve got to have a budget!! You’ve got actually sit down and look at what got, what you don’t, what you want, what you need, and how much you really really can afford! Buying a house takes time right? This is probably the biggest time piece!
*Make sure you budget how much you can go over asking price too! Most houses, specially in todays market, are going $20-$30K over asking! I know, WHAT?! It’s right though! On average your gonna pay about $15K over. THANKFULLY we got blessed and the house we went to purchase, at first we went about 15K over, but appraised for less so whoo hoo!
Four:
⁃ Look at the Neighborhoods and school districts! – I know when you first start to look at houses it gets all, “oh look at the bathrooms!”, “Look at these closest!”, Or “that kitchen!”. It’s so much fun looking! And it should be! This could potentially be your new home! You need to have fun with this! You also need to be safe and find something you actually need! Do you have kids and need to be by a school? Will the commute to work be an easy one? Do you have three crazy pups and need a big yard like us? These are things you need to look at and consider as well in buying your home.
Five:
⁃ Okay here it is the biggest tip I can give! DO NOT GET OVERWHELMED AND DO NOT SETTLE! – just saying this makes me laugh! I say this in hopes that you won’t be like me and you’ll actually understand, you have time! I tend to over do things and if there is something I want I put everything into it till its mine. Not a bad thing, but in this case I was constantly putting in stress and getting stress back. You have time! The first house you see you’ll, 50/50, either be, “Oh my gosh, I need it!”, Or “Oh nooo, not happening!” This is a common feeling! My only advice on this is go into the viewings thinking your this awesome house critique! Like one of those home improvement shows with the people that walk into a house and just start pointing out what they like, what they don’t, and what they want to change and update. Be like this! Go in and find what you love, find what you dont, and find what could be done to make it better! If you do this with every house you’ll start to get a clearer picture of the house you actually want! Don’t get so overwhelmed with the actual process of buying that it takes the fun out of actually shopping! I don’t know about you but I love shopping and this was the biggest purchase we are probably gonna ever make so we wanted to have fun with the actual process! Probably why we saw 22 different houses… I’ll fully take that was all me but hey what can you do!
Biggest thing though, don’t settle either! There are so many houses out there if you’ve been looking for a while and are tired and just want to say screw it, dont! You want to go with that one you saw last week that didn’t have the yard you wanted but it has four bedrooms that you need? Don’t settle. You want that awesome house with the perfect bathrooms and closests but its over an hour from your work? Don’t settle! This process takes time! Sometimes it takes a few weeks, sometimes a few months like ours, but sometimes its takes more! What if you do go with one of those houses then in the next two months another comes up that has all that you want and more! Two more months! Thats all you had to wait to get your dream home? Could you do it?
• Key note – in today’s market, houses are going like crazy! Like seriously crazy! Those 22 we went and viewed, all under contract and gone within three days! Three days y’all! That is insane! Do not stress yourself out trying to get in and see a house and feel obligated to put an offer on one you don’t really like!
No house is going to be perfect! Again, unless you build it. So don’t go into this process thinking it has to be perfect, find something that works for you and has what you want, what you need and what you love!
Another big tip I need to put out there, TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!
If you are married or in a relationship you can not do this by yourself! This is something you both are going in on, something you both will live in together, and I hope, make home together! You need to communicate, you both need to sit and make that list! You both need to sit and redo that list! You both need to find houses you both wanna see! You both need to have an opinion on your future! This is a huge step and going into without full support, and I mean you supporting them and they supporting you, then this process will crush you. It will make you stressed. You need support and you need to give it!
I hope this helps to at least get you started in this process! It’s a lot, I won’t lie to you, but isn’t anything that you actually want? Question is, is it worth it?
If you truly want it, you can have it! It is possible, and the journey can be fun, you just gotta go for it!
So I have come to realize…no one cares. Hear me out now… I have spent my entire life with a certain “image” in my head of how I should be. Kind, Loving, Hardworking, Accepting of Everyone, and most importantly Forgiving. And I really do try to live that way cause I feel we could all use a little more of each in our lives. But, I have also spent most my life with a certain “image” of how I should look and act. So now that’s constantly made me worried that I’m doing something wrong or I’m not good enough at times. Don’t ask me why cause I honestly dont have an answer as to why, maybe my childhood, maybe my adulthood, who knows. But I do know I’m not alone, I know there are women everywhere that constantly worry they are messing up, constantly thinking they aren’t good enough, and the truth is…no one cares!! Not in the bad sense I promise but in the YOU ARE NOT ALONE sense! All of us are thinking and feeling this way, and if you dont then congrats ! That is so awesome and I could not be more proud (and secretly envious) of you!! But for the ones of us that have these thoughts, these feelings, the constant looking in the mirror and your smile goes to a frown…you are not alone! And Sis, listen to me, no one cares! Do not let yourself go through life worrying about what you look like, worrying about how you should act or if that one person really does or doesn’t like you. You live your life! Act the way you want, wear whatever you want, talk, feel, love HOWEVER YOU WANT! Cause in reality we all have so much going on, so much that we ourselves are constantly worried about that if someone does have the time to judge you for you being you then obviously that’s just proof you are that amazing to be on someone else’s mind and they can kiss what the good Lord gave ya! I say all of this so that the feelings you have now you know it’s not just you, its not just me, its us, its we. As women we have to build each other up in every way possible. And I hope this helps to build you! So here’s to being “over” myself! Over all the negative thinking, the negative feelings, the negative talk (that really only I say to myself). And Here’s to growth, to knowing I like me, my family likes me, my friends like me… exactly the way I am. And Here’s to you, for it only takes one day, one moment to change your thoughts, to change your perspective on yourself and how you view your life and others! I know you can do it! Here’s to us!
Healing House & Home 