Accepting yourself. Accepting others. Accepting our world. Its hard sometimes. Unfortunately acceptance is not something that comes naturally to many of us. It’s not something we just do, or that we are. A lot of times it’s something we really work hard at. To be able to accept the commodities around us. To Accept the people around us. To accept ourselves for who we are.
I honestly couldn’t say which is harder.
At what point in our existence did we as humans start to not accept anymore? To turn to a way where all we do is judge another or complain for what we have. Where we put so much expectation on ourselves to be a certian way or live a certian life, all for what? To keep up with this materialistic world we live in? To make sure no one sees our weaknesses or has negative comments to say? To fake a smile at a stranger cause we wish they would give us the same?
Why though? Why is it so hard for us to coexist on this place we call home? To live together on this Earth in total peace.
Why is something that is so easy to do so hard for us? Acceptance is as easy as saying, “okay”. Nothing more, nothing less. Just okay.
If for one day our World could look at its neighbor and say, “I see you are different than I, but that’s okay, we are all one being living on this Earth. We all share one world. We are all together forever.”
If for one day we could all look into the mirror and just smile, because we know that who we are is needed for this World! Who we are was perfectly made for this time now! Who we are at this moment is just the beginning of who we can become!
If for one day we all just accepted.
Imagine it!
Acceptance is hard!
The choice to choose not to accept though, is harder, but it is just a choice!
Your choice, to say “okay” or not.
Life can be hard, but Accepting doesn’t have to be!
As children we are told to look up to our elders and use them as role models. To use the doctors, the firefighters, the people in power, and so many more as our guides for wisdom. Now, while it is true that we need these role models to help set the examples of the good we need in our world and our lives, we don’t realize we’ve had these role models all along. We’ve had guides to help us along on our journey.
When you can find good in someone or something you’ve seen then it becomes easier to spot. It’s easier to become good when you surround yourself with it, and it’s easier to be good when you have something to base the good off of.
So why not use the past as a way to help guide our future? Why not use the stories of our ancestors and all they went through as a guide of where you came from? Why not use the legends of heros to show us there is good in the world? Why not use the stories of the Gods to show us we will always have somewhere to turn?
What if you could turn to multiple role models as guides and mentor’s?
Do you seek wisdom for upcoming decision that needs to be made? Reach out to Athena, the goddess of Wisdom and War. She can help guide you in any upcoming battles you may face.
Do you seek love? Reach out to Freya, the Goddess of Love and Fertility. She can help you reconnect with your inner love and allow you to give and receive it.
Do you need courage and strength to get through your day? Reach out to Kratos, he is the embodiment of strength, and can help you find yours.
Do you seek balance in your life? Reach out to Hecate. She is what balance is. She controls the heavens, the earth, and the seas. She is both maiden, mother, and crown. She is who I reach for in times of need. She can help you find that balance you seek.
You see, there are so many from our past that we can use to help guide us.
When we seek guidance, we can usually find it. It’s up to you though to determine rather its good or bad and if you want to use it or have it in your life. Not all guidance that is given can be helpful, but if we turn it all away then you will never know where you could have gone.
“Be what you seek, and become what others seek.”
Use the past to guide you in all that you do! Seek out good, in yourself, and in others!
Be the Goddess or God that you need in that moment, in that time. Appreciate all that you have been through and overcome. Rejoice in all that is left to experience and gain in life. Then, truly accept that you can be all that you already are and more.
Use your past and the past of our ancestors to lay a way for your path in life.
Walk it with honor and pride, and when you get the chance, share your story with others. Let your stories be a guide for others needing, and those yet to come.
To many times do I see an image, in my head, or out in nature, and think, “oh yeah this would be a really cool picture.” Or, “aw I love this moment with Everyone, I want to capture it.”
But its almost just as soon as I have these thoughts or I reach for my camera, that this inner voice creeps up behind and belittles me. It says, “why? Why would anyone want to see that photo? No one sees what you see, no one cares about photos, let alone one you took.” Or, “you know everyone here will look at you if you get your phone out now. This isnt the place.” Or, one that constantly goes through my head, “Time with loved ones isn’t supposed to be seen through a lens.”
When I say this voice comes every time I have these thoughts to take a photo, I mean nine times out of ten it somehow pushes its way to the front of my brain and now its all I can hear or think about.
So about five times out of ten I will listen to it. I will stop myself from setting something up to take a photo of it or I’ll stop myself from grabbing my phone, just so I don’t get “looks”.
Five times out of ten.
I know that’s doesn’t sound like a lot but that’s fifty percent of the time ladies! Fifty percent of the time I dont “capture the moments”. Fifty percent of the time I don’t “create something cool” to take a picture of it. Fifty percent of the time I second guess myself.
Fifty percent of the time I let myself down.
Does this sound familiar?
Does this voice sound like something you’ve heard before, or maybe a version of it?
Since about the 90s technology and specially phones have blown up. I went from this little black phone, no bigger than my 10 year old selfs hand; that had no camera, no games, no internet, and even with texting I still didn’t cause, well, one I was 10 and texting wasn’t “super cool” just yet, and two, I had no Friends. Okay so probably should have started with the no friends one as that’s probably why it wasnt “super cool” to me back then. But my point is, I grew up while all this was getting big, so of course our families were trying to teach us the values of having a phone. The responsibility it came with. The dangerous that people were now an internet click away and visa versa. The, “if you click that internet button one more time this month!” talks my mother always had with me. And how this was only supposed to be a better way to connect. A better way of staying in contact with each other. It wasn’t meant for fun, or social media scrolling. Mostly cause there wasn’t any media platforms, well besides Myspace, and lets admit it…we all let Tom down. But these phones, all this new technology was mostly for business people. it was meant for people who really needed to stay connected to their jobs, and their businesses. Now yes, after a couple years almost everyone had one and you used it to connect to family members better. So when phones started to come with cameras, when you could actually start taking photos with people right there; good golly Mrs. Dolly, everyone and their mothers started taking photos! I remember my Moms first camera phone, the old at&t silver flip phone. This thing was like magic, I would steal it to take photos of our new puppy, or wherever we went for vacation we would get photos. So this inturn became the new normal. From disposal cameras to these handy dandy pocket cameras!
Still though, with taking photos being a new norm for everyone, we were still taught, “you live in the moment.” How were you to actually know what’s going on, or how were you to truly enjoy a moment if you looked at it through a lens.
Maybe it was just my family, maybe it was honestly just me, but whatever the reason I have no made a habit of second guessing myself every time I wanted a photo of something or someone.
I second guessed my moments.
Ladies, do you hear that…
I second guessed my moments.
How much anxiety does that sentence give you?
I wouln’t wish that apon my worst enemy, to second guess their own moments, their own thoughts, and feelings.
Okay, so let me pause here and tell you, yes, I have social media. Yes, I take lots of photos. Yes, I still post about things I like, about family and friends and all that good jazz. But I am still working on myself, I constantly try to be a little better than the day before so I can do these things, or at least have the courage too. I can sit up in my house all day and take photos and make post but it’s going out in public, its being around others and wanting to take the photos out there that I struggle with. I second guess myself so much out in public already.
If you ever met me or have met me and I seem totally cool on the outside, just know I’m internally Contemplating what I say next, or freaking out cause I just made a weird face without thinking and someone saw.
Now I know times have changed, really weird for a twenty five year old to say, but I know everyone is on there phones more now than ever. I know so many people, photographers, businesses, even kids use their phones for photos and videos and heck, even creating whole new businesses, but we all struggle with what people think at times. I struggle with my own internal self saying how no one would think my work was cool, or how family would think I was weird for always wanting to take photos of everything. And truth be told, yeah people probably do judge, my friends and family probably do have thoughts as to why I want photos but its not for them. My photos, my work I created isn’t for them! It’s taking something I have in my head and making it real. It’s making myself smile and feel good for doing something I wanted to do. Like this message to you. I tried to take a photo this morning of my relaxing spot, cause ya know it made me happy, and that’s when I heard the voice. So I stopped, then I thought, “why am I doing this to myself?” I am literally the only one here and I’m making my own self feel horrible for simply taking a photo of what made me smile? So in the midst of my morning routine I stopped to write this message cause it was in my head and I felt like it needed to come out. It helps make me feel better to express these thoughts. I dont know, maybe it’ll help you too? Maybe it’ll help encourage you that it doesnt matter for anyone but you what you allow yourself to do, to feel, to think and express. Maybe this will help spark a fire to go express yourself in any way that makes you smile. Maybe you send this to a friend cause thats your way of expressing and helping others. I don’t know, maybe you don’t do anything.
And really, that is perfectly okay too.
I wrote this to help myself, to give myself encouragement and to help fuel my spark. I wrote this to let the voice in my own head know, “I will no longer allow you to make me second guess myself.”
So here’s to the other fifty percent I will no longer miss to capture. The fifty percent I will no longer even acknowledge the others around so I can keep my smile while I sneak a shot of my husband’s crazy face.
If we all did fifty percent more of whatever scared us, or made us uncomfortable. Heck, if we even did ten percent more of that could you imagine the work we would see? The new photos, the new books, new architect, new fashion designs, new recipes, new diy crafts? If we all did just fifty, or even ten, percent more of whatever scared us, whatever that little voice is making you second guess, could you just imagine what we would see in the next five years? The next ten?
Our world needs growth to live, it needs new in order to maintain the old. Without new we become nothing but faint memories of the “what use to be”. We need that fifty percent to create something that our kids, our grandkids use to help shape their lives and world.
We are meant to help build up each other.
We need each other.
We need you. Your Fifty percent. Your ten percent. Our world need what makes you smile too.
So I have come to realize…no one cares. Hear me out now… I have spent my entire life with a certain “image” in my head of how I should be. Kind, Loving, Hardworking, Accepting of Everyone, and most importantly Forgiving. And I really do try to live that way cause I feel we could all use a little more of each in our lives. But, I have also spent most my life with a certain “image” of how I should look and act. So now that’s constantly made me worried that I’m doing something wrong or I’m not good enough at times. Don’t ask me why cause I honestly dont have an answer as to why, maybe my childhood, maybe my adulthood, who knows. But I do know I’m not alone, I know there are women everywhere that constantly worry they are messing up, constantly thinking they aren’t good enough, and the truth is…no one cares!! Not in the bad sense I promise but in the YOU ARE NOT ALONE sense! All of us are thinking and feeling this way, and if you dont then congrats ! That is so awesome and I could not be more proud (and secretly envious) of you!! But for the ones of us that have these thoughts, these feelings, the constant looking in the mirror and your smile goes to a frown…you are not alone! And Sis, listen to me, no one cares! Do not let yourself go through life worrying about what you look like, worrying about how you should act or if that one person really does or doesn’t like you. You live your life! Act the way you want, wear whatever you want, talk, feel, love HOWEVER YOU WANT! Cause in reality we all have so much going on, so much that we ourselves are constantly worried about that if someone does have the time to judge you for you being you then obviously that’s just proof you are that amazing to be on someone else’s mind and they can kiss what the good Lord gave ya! I say all of this so that the feelings you have now you know it’s not just you, its not just me, its us, its we. As women we have to build each other up in every way possible. And I hope this helps to build you! So here’s to being “over” myself! Over all the negative thinking, the negative feelings, the negative talk (that really only I say to myself). And Here’s to growth, to knowing I like me, my family likes me, my friends like me… exactly the way I am. And Here’s to you, for it only takes one day, one moment to change your thoughts, to change your perspective on yourself and how you view your life and others! I know you can do it! Here’s to us!
Healing House & Home 